Mark Driscoll: We are worse than we ever feared and more loved than we ever dared to dream. That's where our joy comes from.</div>
"Oh crap. My bacon." ~Lorne
SJ: When I'm older, I'm going to be a cat lady... Except with dogs and classic cars.
Katie R.: Models live on a diet of ice cubes and hairspray.
Worst pun ever, but it cracked me up really bad:
[While watching the part where the guy gets stabbed in the eye in Die Harder]:
Jon: Man, he got icicled!
Zach: Yeah, that eye-suckled.
Kim: God opens doors...
Catherine: So run fast!
Her voice was as chilling as a piano made of frozen Windex. ~Wizard People (on Prof. Hardcastle McCormick)
[After spraying air freshener everywhere in my room for no reason:] Well that's what you get for...being....a victim. ~Anna St. Hilaire
Becky: I just put lotion on, but it kind of burns.
Me: What kind of lotion did you use?
Becky: Mary Kay....
David Granberry: Hey! Are we going to play Chuck Jones?
Matt: I'm not milk.
Swing dance teacher from Century (Mark): And do not forcefully stir your partner as she turns, for she is not porridge.
Josh T.: Somebody was comparing Hilary Clinton's campaign to that filly in the Kentucky Derby giving it her all.
Holly: You mean Hilary's going to break both her ankles?
Matt: I know this girl named Michael Anne.
David: Was her last name Jello?
David: You know, Michaelangelo.
Josh: The other day, Kris came through the dining room and left the door open. Jordan yells, "Kris, door! Kris, door!" And Kris says, "Jordan, heart! Jordan, love!" It was like he got b****-slapped by a Care Bear.
Zach (about a retreating evil tomato): Maybe he's going back to his tomato... base...
[During an epic battle to catch a mouse, we hear the guys yelling from the other room]
Mindy: You see what I mean? It's scary! What happened?
Gabe: Oh my gosh! It jumped at us! And I saw the claws and the venom!
6-year-old girl: There's something I have to tell you about High School Musical 2. There's kissing in it. And they're not even married or in college!
Louie: Short Circuit? I LOVE that movie! It taught me what love is.
Matt [on picking people up at the roller skate rink]: That's the problem with skating rinks: they're dark, so everyone looks AWESOME.
XKCD: Sometimes the best fun looks like boredom.
Justin: It's okay. I can eat and be serious at the same time.
Lauren: We just made a Marge sandwich!
Marge: I like being the filling.
Strongbad: Checking emails at home from your work computer. It's like playing a first-person shooter with your girlfriend. It kinda ruins them both.
Jon W.: Quick Drew, grab a bun!
Matt: If it's broken don't fix it. Wait...
Megan: I never watch horror movies. Ever. I went to see The Ring when it was in theaters, but I thought it was going to be a romantic comedy.
Chelsea: What would you do if someone was ignoring you?
Elizabeth: Punch him in the uterus.